Heartbreaks and 808s

Back when Facebook had simpler statuses, some people lived the most wonderful lives.  Lives of honesty and drama and heartbreak.

Here is my ultimate cast study, lifted from 2 months of a friend’s timeline.  Her glorious, glorious timeline.

Be wowed.  Be amazed.  Try to keep up.  Enjoy …

[All names changed for the sake of privacy … and also so it doesn’t feel like I’m totally taking the piss]

 

December 4

Kirsty is feeling hacked off with 1 bloke in particular who is REALLY doing her head in!u know who u are…….
12:49pm 

Kirsty is ill as she has been to the doctors and has been told her kidenys are hurting due to the 30 hour drinking session on Sat! :-(.
7:16pm

 

December 5

Kirsty is hacked off the people keep thinking she’s a bad person!
3:25pm

 

December 6

Kirsty is happy with her new man!……
11:33am

Kirsty is loving the new man in her life…………..
3:31pm

 

December 7

Kirsty is confused with a man!……
12:57pm

BrokenHeart Kirsty is no longer listed as in a relationship.
6:13pm

 

December 9

Kirsty is feeling ruff still but upset that blokes keep pissin her off…..
8:39pm

 

December 20

Kirsty doesnt give 2 shits bout wat SHE thinks about my relationship cos its MY life at the end of it………..
6:56pm

Kirsty doesnt give 2 shits bout wat a certain person thinks about my relationship cos its MY life at the end of it………..
7:03pm

Kirsty is counting the days til she sees a certain some1 again!!!!cant wait!
7:22pm

Kirsty is excited only 3 days to go……………………
9:04pm

 

December 21

Kirsty is excited only 2 days to go……………………
1:18pm

 

December 22

Kirsty is excited only 1 day to go……………………
3:45pm

 

December 27

BrokenHeart Kirsty is listed as single.
5:58pm

 

December 30

Kirsty is seriously PISSED off wiv people kickin her whilst she’s down ALL THE TIME!!!!!
12:32pm

 

December 31

FixedHeart Kirsty is listed as in a relationship.
2:41pm

 

January 7

Kirsty is seriously in love with Mr Peter Jones……..
8:40pm

Kirsty is seriously in love with Mr Peter Jones……..and is gonna b wiv him 4EVA……..
11:26pm

 

January 8

Kirsty is seriously in love with Mr Peter Jones……..and is gonna b wiv him 4EVA……..n eva.
9:31pm

Kirsty has the hots for some1 but cant do NOTHING bout it AAARRRGGGHHH………
9:54pm

BrokenHeart Kirsty is listed as single.
10:21pm

Kirsty has the hots for some1 but cant do NOTHING bout it n its PROPER doin her head in……………
10:23pm

Kirsty is goin to bed alone AGAIN….not asking for any offers 2nite got some1 to think about….;-).
10:35pm

Kirsty is guttered…………………..well guttered…….like u wudnt believe…….
10:45pm

 

January 10

Kirsty is pissed off that shes not allowed to be pissed off but some1 has pissed her off…..
7:33pm

 

January 14

Kirsty Is tired after a manic weekend but is lovin her new man!Bye bye Peter……….
6:17pm

 

January 15

Kirsty is feelin refreshed but REALLY missing Craig, roll on Friday…………….
11:17am

FixedHeart Kirsty is listed as in a relationship.
3:21pm

Kirsty has jus spoke to craig n misses him more than ever now :-(.
6:21pm 

Kirsty cant stop thinking bout Craig n wat we can do to make up for 5 days apart!……
8:36pm

 

January 16

Kirsty misses Craig immensely!!!!
7:10pm

Kirsty is in SHOCK!!!!! but feeling loved n happy…….
10:56pm

 

January 17

Kirsty is in LOVE big time and misses craig MADLY!!!!
7:25pm

 

January 18

Kirsty is counting down the hours til Craig is home for the weekend!!!!
3:29pm

 

January 20

Kirsty is ready for commitin suicide!!! SERIOUS!
12:38am

Kirsty doesn’t wanna live anymore, whats the point!
12:57am

Kirsty has an empty space in her life now n doesnt wanna live without that person being in it……….
1:05am

Kirsty is contemplatin moving far far away n starting her SHIT life again……..
4:45pm

Kirsty doesnt wana be here anymore!seriously.
5:01pm 

Kirsty hasnt stopped crying for a full day now!n still not eaten in 3 days!and is still gettin kicked while shes down!
8:46pm

 

January 21

Kirsty is feelin much better 2day n glad her mates r tryin to help her out! I should pay more attention!
9:03am

Kirsty is looking forward to 2nite…..You know who ya are and what I mean………..
3:36pm

BrokenHeart Kirsty is no longer listed as in a relationship.
3:40pm

Kirsty is social, compatible, sexual irresistable…………….ive gotta b right for love!!!!!
8:09pm

 

January 22

Kirsty is excited bout friday n seeing Craig!!!
9:04am

Kirsty has jus made so many promises!!!jus hope i can keep them all…….
9:45pm

 

January 23

Kirsty is feeling positive for the 1st time since Sat!…
1:08pm

Kirsty is in LOVE!!!!!
8:28pm

Kirsty is so in love wiv craig n misses him immensely it hurts,roll on friday!
11:22pm

 

January 24

Kirsty is on countdown til 2moro when Craig’s home!!!!!BRING IT ON.
7:04pm

 

January 25

Kirsty is SOOO counting down til tonight and spending it with her Craig!
12:56pm

 

January 26

Kirsty is better now Craig is home and going out 2nite!!!!
10:49am

 

January 28

FixedHeart Kirsty is listed as in a relationship.
10:25am

Kirsty missing Craig already and he only left this morning! :-(.
3:55pm

 

January 29

Kirsty is lovin craig so much n roll on 2 weeks wen all his stuff is at mine,I’ve NEVER bin so happy in years n its all thanks to craig.love ya craig x x x.
1:01am

Kirsty is still missing Craig and is prayin hes home for the weekend or shes gotta drive 2 darlington for her fix of Craig!!!!!
3:09pm

 

January 30

Kirsty is not a happy bunny this morning AT ALL!!!!
10:25am

 

January 31

Kirsty is drunk and its her birthday and shes at work at 8 in the morning to meet a certain some1 b4 work!!!!!!lol NAUGHTY GIRL!!BUT I AM SINGLE MUM !
12:23am

BrokenHeart Kirsty is no longer listed as in a relationship.
12:55am

Kirsty is off 2 bed n not gonna feel good 2moro but ill be fine after my fix in the morning! GOD IM A BAD BAD BAD GIRL!but hey ho!!!
1:05am

 

February 2

Kirsty is confused even more than yesterday!
1:50pm

Kirsty is no longer confused just very happy…..
2:17pm

 

February 4

Kirsty is looking 4ward to seeing a certain some1 2nite……
3:54pm

Kirsty is happy cos Paul is on his way!!!WOO HOO.
7:56pm

Kirsty is sat with Paul n loving every minute.
9:48pm

 

February 5

FixedHeart Kirsty is listed as in a relationship.
9:55am

Kirsty is happy.
11:22am

Kirsty is happy, loved n can’t wait 2 c Paul 2moro…….
8:58pm

………………………………….

 

Sadly, we’ll never know how it ended, because later that month Kirsty had a Facebook cull and I was caught up in the crossfire.

Maybe Kirsty and Paul made a happy future together … but then again, maybe not.


 

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One comment on “Heartbreaks and 808s
  1. lyvingbetter says:

    Yikes. Maybe not bad that you were culled.

    Liked by 1 person

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